Widowhood: how to take life back into your own hands?

Widowhood: how to take life back into your own hands?

Widowhood is one of those life events that no one can properly prepare for. You may think you’re prepared, but when it happens, it’s often a shock. And yet life goes on. In the midst of your grief, you must find a way to continue living.

Mélanie, a young mother of two, shares her story and how she was able to face this painful ordeal.

“Yes, life goes on. These are the words I looked to for comfort when my husband died unexpectedly. At just 30 years old, I found myself a widow with two small children to raise alone. Even though it wasn’t easy, I found the strength to know that I’m not alone. There are millions of other widows who know exactly what I am going through. In this article I will tell you my story, how I became a widow and how I learned to cope with the new normal. I hope my words bring some comfort to other widows (and widowers) who find themselves in this situation.

One sunny day in June I was sitting on the porch enjoying a cup of coffee when I got a call. My husband was in a car accident and he was dead. At the age of 30, I became a widow. In the days and weeks that followed, I felt like I was living in a fog. I did everyday gestures but couldn’t concentrate on anything. I was surrounded by my family and friends, but I felt so alone. Slowly but surely I started to put my life back together. I found comfort in my faith and knowing that my husband would always be with me in spirit. I also learned to lean on the support of my friends and family. Today, almost two years after his death, I am still grieving, but I am also alive. I learned to cherish happy memories and find joy in the little things. And I know my husband would want me to be happy.

Rebuild a new life after the death of a spouse.

It’s not easy to move on, but here are some ways to ease the pain and move on.

  1. Express your emotions.

For young widows/widowers who have dependent children, the stages of grief can be more difficult to manage. Having dependent children after the sudden death of a spouse can be another emotional challenge.

It is not easy to take care of children while working and managing pain. A surviving spouse who finds themselves in this situation will have trouble finding hope or energy to move on. He must be emotionally stable to support his children as they grieve the loss.

Suppressing your emotions and not having time to grieve is unhealthy. The grieving process requires a lot of emotional expression, so grieve and allow yourself to be vulnerable around the people you care about.

  1. Rebuild your own life.

Finding a new direction to face the future can be a special joy. After the death of a spouse, your psychological income can become a supportive family and a sense of accomplishment.

Breathe new life into your life by leaving your mark. Start a non-profit group or get involved in meaningful volunteer activities. Try working with a local community foundation to feel closer and connected to the people around you.

  1. Create a connection.

Widows/widowers who are of retirement age are already prone to health problems due to loneliness, as the loss of a spouse can lead to depression.

You don’t have to go through the grieving process alone. Surround yourself with people who can help you. A support system of family, friends and support groups will help you get through this sad time.

You can make new friendships by sharing your experiences. Join a book club or community activities with new people. Talk to someone you can draw strength from.

  1. Foster an attitude that allows for rebirth.

If you are experiencing complicated grief where normal grief does not occur, be patient. Take your time. The inability to cope with the death of a spouse can take months or longer.

You will soon feel the sadness, anger and tiredness disappearing. You become interested in others and the outside world again.

You will rejoice in the happiness of others instead of getting angry or sad. This will be the sign of your rebirth. All this will be a thing of the past. Don’t tell yourself that you will never get over your husband’s death.

  1. Avoid alcohol and drugs.

Seeking solace in anti-depressants, alcohol and drugs will only make your situation worse. These substances can make it difficult to think clearly and make good decisions. They can also lead to problems at work, finances and relationships. If you are struggling to cope with the loss of your partner, seek help from friends, family or a counselor. These people can offer you support and advice during this difficult time. Avoiding alcohol and drugs will help you get through this difficult time in a healthy way.

  1. Let yourself go at your own pace.

Allow yourself to grieve because your emotions are important. The healing process can be slow, but it works.

Do what you can without rushing the healing process, as forcing it to end early will most likely result in an incomplete recovery.

  1. Talk to a mental health professional.

Discussing your inner thoughts and feelings with a professional can help you understand and process your emotions.

Can a widow or widower turn the page?

Mélanie’s story is an example of many others who have gone through the same situation and are still with us with a smile on their face. Remember that you are strong, able to overcome all difficulties, and live in hope that your late husband or wife will be proud of you and your achievements.

* Presse Santé strives to convey knowledge about health in a language accessible to all. IN NO CIRCUMSTANCES can the information provided replace the advice of a medical professional.
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