Mantes la Jolie.  “I wanted to die and I wanted her to die”: mother and daughter reunited in “Putain de Parkinson”

Mantes la Jolie. “I wanted to die and I wanted her to die”: mother and daughter reunited in “Putain de Parkinson”

Dalila Raposo gives a moving testimony with “Putain de Parkinson”. (©DR)

“I wanted to die and I wanted her to die. I’m not ashamed to say it. This terrible confession is it Dalila Raposo (49 years old).

In the burning fucking Parkinsonreleased in August 2022, native of Mantes la Jolie (Yvelines) returns to degenerative disease which soon affected his mother Iria, who died in 2010 at the age of 67, and changed his life forever.

This book, birth in pain, is also the story of a huge endurance and “a message of hope.”

“I was 12, it was quite dark”

Dalila was only a child when the verdict was handed down. “I was 12 years old and we lived in Val Fourré. Parkinson’s was pretty vague, although my brother and sister understood it was serious. We thought it would go away with medication. But mom, who was 45 at the time of diagnosis, did rapid form of the disease. »

A family in “poverty and uncertainty”

His father had already abandoned his wife and children for some time, leaving his family in destitution, “misery and uncertainty”.

Internment “among the insane”

“After three years of treatment, my mother started to have more serious behavioral problems, hallucinations and had to quit her job as a cleaner. She was often interned in Bécheville, which we were so afraid of as children. See her in crazy hospital it was very hard to live. »

He also tells this horrible anecdote in the book. “I was working at McDo and it was closed. It must have been one in the morning when I got home. »

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“My mother didn’t recognize me anymore, she didn’t want to let me in. She was aggressive. I spent the night on the landing, on the stairs. I accidentally called the emergency services, but they couldn’t do much.

Dalila Raposoauthor of Fucking Parkinson
Dalila Raposo fought her mother's illness in a boxing match.
Dalila Raposo fought her mother’s illness in a boxing match. (© Le Lys Bleu Editions)

Faced with this test, Dalila must grow up fast, “too fast,” “work to win [sa] life’ and support the household almost alone. “School was a waste of time,” he continues. Anyway, apart from French and sports, I was bored. But I still have a high school diploma. »

Head of Foundations at the Institut de France

Young Mantaise traces her path and gets a job as a teacher at a school in the city. “Before I pass national educational competition and enter directly at the Institut de France, where I have been for eighteen years”, proudly underlines the current manager of the foundation.

“I found that I was alone, that I had to carry everything”

Iria is getting worse and worse. She blushed alone. “My brother went to live in the United States. As for my sister, she was bipolar. She happened to be in Bécheville at the same time as Mom. I found that I was alone, that I had to carry everything. I had dark thoughts. »

“I was gradually sinking,” Mantaise continues. My doctor saved me. One day he said to me: Stop. Soon your will be interned. »

End of life in Ehpad

She decided to place the mother in a specialized institution. It will be the Léopold-Bellan nursing home where Iria will spend the last five years of her life. “She ended up in a vegetative state. »

“So that his suffering was not for nothing”

This book made it possible for him [son] mourning’, but also and above all to ‘pay tribute’ to his mother (buried in Mantes-la-Jolie), ‘so that her trace does not disappear’, ‘so that her suffering is not in vain’. A match that will belong to her as well and from which she came out stronger, especially thanks to the boxing exercises.

“Whether fucking Parkinson can help other people to cope with this disease, when someone close to you is affected, to grieve, to move forward and believe in your dreams, then the mission will be accomplished,” smiles Dalila Raposo. In order to create your own paradise, Frida Kahlo (Mexican painter, editor’s note) once said, you must reach into your own personal hell. It’s quite true after all. »

“In order to create your own paradise, Frida Kahlo once said (Mexican painter, editor’s note), you have to penetrate your own personal hell. It’s true enough after all.”

Dalila Raposoauthor of Fucking Parkinson

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